Your Home the Marriage Counselor

Couples fight. It is an inevitability.

There are the broad fights: money, attention, kids, money, commitment, money. There are also the more specific fights: Facebook usage, grooming habits, etc...

The space that you inhabit with your partner can directly effect the frequency and duration of these fights. I'd posit that the location of the home, design, and decor can both create and disseminate most disagreements that take place between co-habitators. Here's and example: Two people are dating. The gentleman lives in a house in Broad Ripple that he rents with two buddies from college. The home has one large congregating space, separate bedrooms, and a shared bathroom. What arguments are likely to take place between the couple?

  • "I need more alone time with you."
  • "Your roommates are disgusting."
  • "Why do you spend so much time at the bars with your friends?"

I am sure I am just hitting the tip of the Iceberg. The location in Broad Ripple provides the guy with easy access to bars, restaurants, and everything else a twenty-something in Indianapolis could want. It could also lead to contention with the significant other. The home lacks multiple living spaces, and inevitably, they all feel crowded. When there is only one bathroom, everyone's best and worst grooming habits are on display for all guests.

Conversely, let's say our family lives in a 5,000 sq ft mini-mansion in Carmel. Everyone has their own bedroom, along with a living room, family room, and basement media room. Each of the 3 children has a tv in their room, along with a computer. This family is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Because of the size of the home, it is likely that they will go entire nights without saying more than a few passing words to one another.

My point is this: When selecting a home (and decorating a selected home), be careful to not only look at the bedrooms, bathrooms, square footage, etc..., but take a look at the flow of the home. How will your family use the spaces? What will traffic patterns look like? Most importantly, how is this home going to help you build the kind of relationships that you want with your loved ones? It seems obscure I am sure, but choosing the right home and layout can help create an environment that fosters communication, independence, and creativity for everyone under it's roof. Choose wisely!